What is Grief?
Grief is the natural reaction to a loss. The loss could be that of a loved one or of health . Stroke survivors and their caregivers face loss every day. The loss of former abilities or routines can be just as profound as a physical death.
However, there is little awareness about grief after a stroke. While there cannot be any strict categorization, usually grief has seven stages for any stroke survivor or caregivers.
These are :
- Shock & Denial: Stroke survivors and caregivers react to stroke with numb disbelief, sometimes even total denial, which is natural because they go through a complete change in lifestyle. This phase can last for weeks.
- Pain & Guilt: It is important to experience emotional pain(although it’s very painful to do so) , and it is very important to not take the help of alcohol or any other substance to escape from the pain. Guilt is a common emotion for people affected by stroke. Feeling guilty or remorse over things you did or didn’t do with your loved ones before stroke is very common. Life can often feel chaotic and scary at this stage.
- Anger & Bargaining: Frustration gives way to anger, and because of that you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for poor health or recovery on someone else. It is important to recognise these feelings and try to control them.
- Sadness, Reflection, Loneliness: At the point when everyone thinks you are doing ok and getting on with your life some people experience a long period of sad reflection. This is the time you realise the true magnitude of your loss. Some feel they need to isolate themselves to reflect on things they did or did not do before stroke and focus on memories of the past. It is a time you may experience feelings of emptiness or despair. This is a normal stage of grief.
- The Upward Turn: As you start adjusting to your life after a stroke, life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your emotions begin to lift slightly.
- Reconstruction & Working Through: As you begin to adjust to loss, your mind starts to feel clearer again, and you may find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life after stroke. You may start to work on practical and financial problems and planning for your future.
- Acceptance & Hope: The last of the seven stages, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not always mean instant happiness. Given the pain you have experienced, it’s unlikely life will feel the same but you will find a way forward. You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. Eventually, you will anticipate good times to come, and yes, even find joy in life after a stroke.
How to deal with grief after a stroke?
Give yourself permission to express your feelings. It could be a heartfelt talk with a trusted friend. Deal with your emotions, which might include pain, guilt or shame. There’s also fear and anger. Allow yourself to experience these feelings but cut yourself some slack. There’s no benefit to beating yourself up.
Some ways to deal with grief are:
- Keep a journal: Write down how you’re feeling on good days and bad days. This will create a helpful log of how you’re doing. Then, when things feel dark, you can look back and remind yourself that things usually go up after they’ve been down.
- Participate in psychotherapy: Therapists are trained to help people process feelings of loss and grief. Having the ability to express your feelings with no judgment can provide immense growth and relief. This is the most helpful way to deal with grief.
- Stick with a consistent rehab regimen: The physical side of rehabilitation can often help with the emotional side. It can be motivating to see progress. And the more you improve, the more hope and optimism you will feel towards recovery.
- Find an outlet: Because anger is one of the stages of grief, it’s important to have an outlet available. Some people find it helpful to watch a comedy because humor helps break the cycle of angry emotions. Do whatever you need to safely avoid any aggressive behavior after a stroke.
- Be active ! : Do something active. Visit the gym. Go for a jog. Swim a few laps. Just taking a walk can give the caregiver and the stroke survivor a different perspective.
- Join a Support Group: Find a support group in your area. Spending time with people who have gone through similar losses can be helpful. You can also join our Global Telegram and Whatsapp Groups via https://strokesupport.in/add .
- Volunteer: You can join the support groups as volunteers and help others recover.
- Get a pet : Pets, especially dogs and cats, can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, ease loneliness, encourage exercise and playfulness, and even improve your cardiovascular health.
- Take up a hobby, or nurture earlier ones: Being active and doing something that you like helps to keep your mind away from the grief.
- Meditate: Meditation helps to gain a new perspective at times of stress or grief.
- Find and read relevant books: Read books which are relevant to stroke and grief, for example Hope after Stroke, Healing and Happiness After Stroke, Identity Theft: Rediscovering Ourselves after Stroke.
Found above helpful ? Have any other helpful experiences and tips to share ? Comment in here or join any of our groups as under for ongoing interactions.
Join other Stroke Survivors, Caregivers and equipment/service providers for help, encouragement , knowledge sharing and most importantly – hope – via:
** WhatsApp/Telegram Global Stroke Support Groups : https://strokesupport.in/add/
ALL other means to connect with us, including Social Media Groups and Channels on Telegram, LinkedIn, Facebook ( in many local Indian Languages) , Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube ; as well as means of Volunteering, giving Feedback, sharing your inputs etc. may all be found at :
https://strokesupport.in/connect/
Please DO have a look and join in wherever convenient as well as share.
Thank you VERY MUCH !