Are you being enslaved by our devices. Here are some of my thoughts…
This note may sound a bit accusatory to everyone in general. It feels like I’m saying things taking a bit of a higher moral ground. I can assure you that is not the intent and I am guilty for all of the same things , a lot when I was able and some even now.. My state after the stroke has only allowed me a certain perspective which I am sharing.
When I had the stroke, and was moved from the ICU to the ward (HDU), one of the biggest challenges I faced was to grab anyone’s attention. I had no voice or movement of any sort.. i would be lying down looking for what seemed like an eternity for me, hoping that someone would lift their head and look at me and realize i needed something. (Its a different matter if they looked at me, i wouldn’t know what to do anyway and it would make no difference). That started my animosity towards devices in general and I have been observing how they impact us ever since.
My nurses in the house, all of them, care for me all day, everyday. Weekend is just another day. Its not an 8 to 5 job either. It starts with first feed at 6:00am and something or the other keeps happening till 11:30pm, which is the last feed. In the night, when they are woken up for something, they are just unable to resist the lure and go back to sleep without checking the phone. They get sucked in unable to put it down for half an hour at least. Doesn’t matter what time it is. They get some respite in the evening when I’m on the wheelchair. That time too is spent romancing their mobiles.
I have observed folks in conversation with each other with and without any device with them. The amount of involvement, expressions of the face, body language… It is so much richer and conveys so much more than when they are checking something on their phone in parallel.
I have seen folks doing things with and without their Phone. The amount of attention that they can give, the amount of involvement in what they are doing is multi-fold when they are not fiddling with it.
When children (any age) are trying to have a conversation with an adult, trying to grab their active attention. The energy, enthusiasm and gleam in their eyes, goes away when unsuccessful in the attempt to grab attention . They are undoubtedly very demanding and irritating many times. If we ask them, if they like what we adults do, i assume they will pour their frustrations out…
I have watched documentaries depicting the same, world over, and the losing battle against the devices. There was one, showing young parents, in malls, parks, outdoor spaces basically, staring at their phones. The toddlers in their prams doing things and not getting attention and the possible emotional impacts growing up.
I have to say here, a good friend of mine, who (by choice) doesn’t own a smartphone is a person I have observed fully involved in anything he is doing. Whether it is speaking with someone, doing something, playing a game of cards, playing with the kids or simply watching something on TV. Social media is miles away, he doesn’t even have a WhatsApp account.
That is a very utopian state for most of us. We cannot however ignore the plethora of benefits by smart devices as well. I certainly feel that the positive value addition outweighs the pitfalls if used appropriately.
We mostly think we can do many things together because we can multitask. I think, multitasking is a good ability in general. I however think, we can do only one thing with active involvement and other things done passively, relegated to the subconscious. For eg, we can be driving, listening to music and have a conversation with someone at the same time. Normally, talking takes active involvement, while the rest the subconscious can manage. However, if we are still learning to drive, we simply can’t do anything else.
Our devices and the apps in them need our active attention. Whether it is messaging, checking mails, or reading some post, it does need attention. Anything else we are doing, if it also needs focus, something will be compromised.
Unfortunately, the apps invariably win. They have poured tons of money and research to make them more addictive to get our time. Yes, time is money. Our time is their money. The more active time we give the more marketable they are.
Its General intelligence vs Artificial intelligence. While General intelligence can accomplish complex and abstract work, it is no match with AI when it comes to crunching huge volumes of mundane data and identify exactly what makes us addicted. Whether it is the notifications, the teasers that there are new posts, telling you there are updates, telling you someone is online, telling you someone is typing, etc. These and several other things to keep us hooked and spend more time. These are just common things. Now you add on top individual tastes, online behavior, specific times, etc. We won’t stand a chance.
I have also observed, that more one is addicted to devices and very used to the world of instant gratification, more he/she will eventually struggle with various degrees of attention deficit and impatience in general.
We have any hope of winning, if we disarm their strengths.
The biggest strength they all have is their ability to summon us. The notifications of the device and apps. The blinking light, or a vibration, or a tune, whatever it is, switching on all notifications is like arming the enemy before the battle.
Yes, notifications are important. Otherwise we will miss important things. But for most things it is not needed. It is definitely not important to know instantaneously that someone commented on something.
In my view, calls are needed (it is a phone after all), sms maybe, notifications on everything else is probably not needed. Maybe some folks who usually need urgent responses, especially because WhatsApp is taken for granted even at work , everyone else can be muted. It is a bit tedious but not impossible (it took less than 30 minutes to do this – with my left hand in slow motion ?). Similarly, different devices have different settings that can be set to our advantage…
Their weakness is unfortunately not an easy one to exploit. It is a question of how strong we can be. How long can we ignore it and not succumb to compulsion and go and check it.
In my view, once we take it into our hands, there is no going back. One thing will suck us into another and by the time we address emails, messages, chats, social media apps (multiple), etc., an eternity will have passed. That’s one of the main reasons why I think, allotting device time doesn’t work. Also, if there are important things to do, it has to be done right.
Instead, maybe we can have more success in “No Device” time. Where there is no real restriction once you pick up the device, but once done with it, we don’t pick it up for a pre-decided time-frame. It can start small and increase gradually, just like a de-addiction program would. It should not be at arms length anywhere and it should take some effort to go get it.
Apart from calls, almost everything on the mobile/devices are asynchronous. Any attention needed can wait and be done late. Someone once had told me, that if it is both very important and very urgent, someone will call !
It is also a behavioral thing, where if we keep immediately responding, that is the unstated expectation we are setting with everyone. Start ignoring, and deal with it when you can, consistently and the expectation will be reset gradually.
On some days, my younger daughter will be on my bed with me, chatting or playing or watching something on TV with me. After some time, I catch myself reaching to the phone. To do what, I have no idea. I am involved in nothing urgent or important for a very long time now. And I know that too. Yet I struggle with the compulsive behavior. I have to check myself each time and tell myself its OK to ignore. I can deal with anything later…
I have to confess though, I have more than necessary notifications enabled on my phone. Well, I have nothing else to do. That’s my full time vocation most days.
Some of the things I have said might sound very presumptuous and very prescriptive. I apologize if i have said something incorrectly.
So .. I’ll stop my rambling here. Hopefully you can start with some form of de-addiction and detox program…here another article to help your thoughts….
This is a post by Sreenath Kesava – a member of our WhatsApp group and a Stroke Warrior . We welcome thoughts of all our members in their journey through life. It could be stroke related, the challenges they face, their celebrations – or simply observations they’d be happy to share. Contact us off-group !